Quotes on Drinking

Robert Benchly

"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."

Sam Ewing

"The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar."

"You've had too much to drink when you feel sophisticated but can't pronounce it."

W. C. Fields

"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy."


"It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine."

Dean Martin

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

Martin Mull

"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."

Emo Philips

"I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"