Quotes on Children
Erma Bombeck "Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
  "One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."
Lee J. Burke "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
Dick Cavett "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Clarance Darrow "The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."
Phyllis Diller "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
King Edward VIII "The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children."
P.J. O'Rourke "Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
Robert Orben "I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
  "Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected."
Dorothy Parker "The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires."
Harry Truman "I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."